Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
there was a trapeze. enough said
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
