I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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