You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
