Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
3 2 1 whiskey
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
