Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
