Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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