This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
