im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
