Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
