i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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