i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
