i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
