oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
FUCK WHALES
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
