i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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