There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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