rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We got so high we made milksteak
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
