Sry I called you an 8
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
