the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
