That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
