Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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