soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
