there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
