Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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