i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
