Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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