found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can't talk, ducks in the car
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
