well you can't waste a boner
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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