Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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