Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
