i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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