I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
