its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
