Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
