Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
