I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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