My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
