Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
