now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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