Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
