You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Even my vagina gasped.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
