Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
