covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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