When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
