you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
