He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
