so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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