I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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