he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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