His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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