I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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