It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
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