I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
