So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
