I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
